“One Plate, Two Forks” (24” x 24”)
My fingers are cramped, my shoulders may well be permanently hunched and my brain is fried from the most tedious painting I’ve done in a long, LONG time. Do you feel sorry for me? Ahhhh, don’t. I was still having fun because I love painting. But really — this is probably the last photorealistic painting I’ll ever paint, so I pulled out all the stops. And this was my Christmas gift to my wife Joy, so…it had to be the best I had in me.
This painting, “One Plate, Two Forks”, is based on some photos I randomly decided to take on an early summer afternoon several years ago, when Joy and I first moved to Asheville, North Carolina. I had not yet started an art studio so technically my “art career” had not even begun. Joy and I were exploring downtown Asheville and we were both getting tired of walking. We mutually decided we needed coffee and maybe a snack, and so…we walked back to the car and drove up to the Grove Park Inn. This place has a “Vintage National Park Lodge” look to it, with huge stone fireplaces in the cavernous lobby (you seriously could fit a medium sized tree in one of the hearths!). Anyway we made our way out to the terrace restaurant overlooking downtown Asheville and the surrounding Blue Ridge Mountains. It was really a perfect afternoon.
My understanding was that we were going to get coffee and cherry cheesecake (we’d heard it was amazing). Let me clarify that expectation: My understanding was that we would both get our own cheesecake and our own coffee. But then, after we sat down and looked at the menu, Joy announced that just a coffee was fine with her…(long pause)…”I’ll just have a couple bites of your cheesecake if that’s okay”.
If that’s okay.
I’m no idiot. That statement is code for “I’m going to devour half your piece of cheesecake Steve”. After emotionally recovering and readjusting to the new reality, I agreed.
“One plate, two forks, please.”
It’s recently been pointed out to me that she deserved the whole cheesecake. That is an understatement. She deserves ten thousand times ten thousand cheesecakes and more. Do you know the shame and wonder of being fully known and still loved and believed in? I do. Being fully known is not a goal of mine, mostly because when I get to some parts of my life, I want to surrender to the black hole of shame, but that is just another form of narcissism. I’ve learned (and am still learning) that being known and still loved can either lead to shame or profound humility and thankfulness. I have chosen that second path for myself. I wish I were unbroken and that it made sense that I’m loved by Joy, but being broken and being loved still is profoundly life changing. The only response I can think of is to put down the self-absorbed shame and to honestly give my whole self to the one who knows me and loves me. What an amazing thing.
So, you definitely do give up something (sometimes a WHOLE lot) when you share yourself, your grief, your joys, your experiences, your time, and yes, sometimes even your cheesecake with other people.
